OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
