Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
