we have pet lesbian snakes
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
