We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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