So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
