It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize