What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
