Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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