Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
