she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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