Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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