you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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