no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
