I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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