Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
