I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
