Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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