I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
PANTIES FOUND
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
