yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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