Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
