Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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