Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
