Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
