I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
