My sheets look like a crime scene.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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