also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
