Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Congratulations! We have a period
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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