hotel room ftw
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
