9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
