Quick, to the slutcave!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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