Your tits are I can't wait for
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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