theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
