you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
