i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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