I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
