yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My penis needs a shock collar
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
