That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize