Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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