Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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