I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
