since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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