Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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