i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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