Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
