woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
