Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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