i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
