Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
