I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
