Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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