Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize