I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm too high and old for this...
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