I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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