okay pat passed out under dana's car
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize