what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the day after is always just damage control
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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