Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
