cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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