Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
