I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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